All Jacked Up: Sort Of
by friends and p-f4ever
Summary: Just read it. It's not long. Daml/Contestshipping :D


**A/N: Hey y'all! Here is my latest inspired oneshot. I really should just make a series of them, but...oh well! The other ones are Ikarishipping: Don't Want To Miss A Thing, Rocketshipping: Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off, and Pokeshipping: Don't Blink. I like the Pokeshipping one the best of the ones I've written. This one is inspired by the Gretchen Wilson song "All Jacked Up", and is a Contestshipping FanFic. If you don't like DAML...then why did you even open the page to read this?! Anyways, on with the pointless fluff! :D I know it might be sort of like my Rocketshipping one-shot, but I like writing dialogue for drunk people. And this isn't as straight forward I guess you could say. It's not the same, I promise. The ending is COMPLETELY different. I also am aware that the Wallace Cup does not take place in the city this does, but please...just go along with it.**

The streets of Petalburg City were deserted. It didn't really surprise Drew that he was the only one out walking at two in the morning. If it hadn't been for his insomnia, he would have been asleep just like everyone else. Well...**almost** everyone else.

Passing by the city's local pubs and shops, one neon sign caught Drew's attention. It was a strip club. He had never noticed that Petalburg had a place like this, but then again, he hadn't been in the city since he was 12. It could have been here all along, but back then the only thing Drew was interested in was winning contests...and a certain brunette.

Pushing such thoughts out of his mind, the twenty four year old continued his stroll back to the Pokemon Center he was staying at. As he passed by the alleyway beside the club, Drew froze in place. A load rustling was coming from the bags of garbage, along with a few muttered swears.

Curiosity got the best of Drew as he walked towards the source of commotion, all the while holding tightly onto his Roserade's pokeball.

"Hello?" He said shakily as more muffled sounds came from the pile of trash.

"Hello!" A voice shouted, as a person stuck their head out of the heap.

"Ah!" Drew exclaimed, stumbling backwards only to land with a 'thud' on the ground. The stranger began to laugh, snorting as they did.

Drew blinked a few times, his eyes trying to adjust to the extreme darkness of the alley. "May?" He questioned, getting off the ground and walking back towards the pile.

"Psh, no! My name is...Yam." May commented, then bursted out into laughter. "Yam is a food, not a name."

"Are you...drunk?" Drew asked, watching as his rival pulled herself out of the pile of full garbage bags. May began to stumble, and would have fallen if Drew had not run over and helped her catch her balance.

"Don't touch me!" She said, swatting away Drew's hands. "I am a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"Obviously." Drew replied sarcastically. "What the hell are you doing in an alley...in a pile of garbage...outside a strip club?!" He questioned quickly.

May began looking around, completely oblivious to where she was. "This was a strip club? No wonder all the girls had such nice asses!"

Drew thanked Mew that it was dark, or else May would have noticed the current color of his face. "Um, ah...yeah. I guess." He wasn't really sure how to reply to a comment like that.

Shaking his head, he looked back at May once more. She was in a pretzel-twist type fashion, staring down at her own behind.

"What are you doing?" Drew asked, slightly amused at how the brunette in-front of him was acting completely out of character.

"Comparing asses." May answered bluntly, straightening back up. Drew rolled his eyes, but couldn't help taking a quick glance down. His eyes were averted back up, after feeling May's palm fly across his cheek. "Don't look at my ass without permission!"

"Sorry." He muttered, his blush still present. "Anyways, where is that Ash kid? Why are you roaming around by yourself at...two thirty in the morning?"

"Ha! I haven't traveled with Ashy-poo since I was fourteen! Show's how much **you** know." May bellowed, sticking her tongue out at the green haired man in-front of her. "He only wanted me to travel with him for my body." She continued, sliding her hand down herself from her chest to her thighs.

Drew just stared at her in disbelief. "What? He did!" May defended. "Okay, no he didn't." She said, bursting out into unexplainable giggles.

"Okay, that's it. I'm taking you with me. You are too drunk to be left alone." Drew said, scooping May up and carrying her bridal style.

"Let me go! No I will not have sex with you!" She yelled, pounding on Drew's chest. Luckily for the young man, her current intoxicated state made her punches light and weak.

"I'm not taking you to sleep with me!" Drew protested, walking down the streets of Petalburg, May drunkenly limp in his arms.

"Really? Aw man." She whined, causing Drew's face to turn even redder, if it was even possible.

- - - - - - - -

The walk lasted only about ten minutes, but ten minutes of drunken May was enough to drive Drew insane. The whole way back to the Pokemon Center May continued to blurt out random and inappropriate things, most of which involved her and Drew. It wasn't May's talking so much that drove him insane, it was more the fact that he was too much of a gentleman not to just take advantage of the fact she was drunk, and just take her right there.

"You know, you should really consider dying your hair." May snorted out, as the Pokemon Center's doors opened and the duo walked in. "Green is not a pretty hair color."

"Thank you." Drew replied dryly, nodding to the Nurse Joy as he passed by reception desk. The nurse simply shook her head and laughed.

"I'll send up some coffee and advil in the morning." She said, earning a second nod from Drew.

Finally reaching the door to his rented room, Drew sighed.

"Okay, I'm going to put you down for a second. Think you can stay standing up that long?" He asked, looking at the girl in his arms.

"Yes yes, now put me down!" May barked, as Drew carefully put her on her feet. Once he thought she was secure, he turned around to open the door. No more than five seconds later, a thud came from behind him.

"When did the floor get so close?" He heard May question. After opening the door and sighing for the seventeenth time that night, Drew helped walk May into his room, sitting her up on the king sized bed.

"I'll be right back." He informed her, walking into the bathroom to grab May a glass of water. Coming out no more than a minute later, Drew was shocked to see a completely naked May sprawled out on his bed.

"What the fu-May!" He screamed, dropping the glass on the ground to cover his eyes. Not that he didn't dream of this moment every night since he hit puberty, he didn't want to completely violate her privacy. Not that she really seemed to mind at the moment.

"Oh, hi Drewsie!" She said, sitting up.

"May, put some friggin' clothes on for Mew's sake!" He replied, eyes still covered. He was impressed with how well he had controlled himself throughout the nights events.

"Why the hell should I? I sleep like this every night! Well, like this with pajamas on too." May stated, crossing her arms over her bare chest. "Or is it cause I'm ugly?" She continued, glaring at Drew.

"What? No it's not that it's-Ugh! Just...at least get under the covers." Drew demanded exasperated. He heard May sigh and mutter something along the lines of 'prude' under her breath. "All set?"

"Yes Mr. I Don't Like Naked Women On My Bed!" May responded from under the sheets. Uncovering his eyes slowly, Drew was relieved to see May had listened.

"So, um...yeah. I'm going to go sleep on the couch. So, yeah...goodnight." Drew said nervously, turning around to hide his now permanent blush. He would have continued out of the bedroom area of the room, had it not been for the sound of tears behind him.

"May? Are you o-" Drew began, but soon stopped once he turned around. May was rolled on her side, wiping tears away from her face. It hurt Drew to see May like this. Carefully, he walked over to the side of the bed, and knelt down. "Hey, what's wrong?"

May sniffled. "I suck at coordinating!" She wailed, catching Drew completely off-guard. He had not expected that from her.

"What are you talking about?! You are amazing." He answer honestly. Though he may tease her constantly about be inferior to him, Drew knew that when it came down to the truth, she was just as good as he was.

"No I'm not! If I'm so-" May stopped to wipe her eyes. "-amazing, then why did I just loose the Wallace Cup...AGAIN?!"

Then it hit him. "Is that why you were drinking? Because you lost?" Drew asked, not realizing he had started stroking May's hair. The brunette nodded, as tears began to form once again. "Shh, it's okay May." Drew said, standing up and pulling May into a hug.

Drew was never very good at consoling people. Right now he actually preferred crazy drunk May over the glum, naked one that was in his embrace. But he forced himself to put his doubts out of his head, and to just concentrate on making sure May would be okay.

The male coordinator continued to run his fingers though May's long hair, as he listened to her tears slowly start to fade. Pulling the girl away from his chest and using one of his thumbs, Drew wiped away a final tear that had snuck out.

"All better?" He asked, making sure his line of vision stayed **above** the brunette's neck-line. May nodded, sniffling one final time. "Ok. If you need anything, let me know. I'll only be a shout away." Drew added, but as he began to stand up, he was surprised to find May pulling him back down. He shot her a questioning look.

"I...I don't want to be alone." She said, her voice weak from crying.

"Well, if you put some clothes on...I-I guess I could stay with you." Drew replied, as calm as possible. May hung her head, but her eyes never left Drew.

"What about...what about just pants?" She asked innocently Drew couldn't help but smile inside at the benign grin she was giving him. He simply nodded, going to fetch an extra pair of pajama bottoms he had with him. Returning once more, he closed his eyes as May uncovered herself and slide the pants up her legs to sit loosely on her hips. Drew opened his eyes a few minutes later, once May was back in bed.

After quickly changing into his own pair of bottoms, Drew climbed onto the bed, making sure to stay **on top** of the covers.

"I don't bite ya know!" May exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "Unless you want me to." She added with a wink. Obviously, the alcohol had not completely made it's way out of her system. "We **can** both be under the covers. I know for a fact it's cold, and don't tell me otherwise. Your arms are covered in goosebumps."

Drew looked at his bare arms. For a drunk individual, May was still pretty observant. Letting out a sigh of defeat, Drew slowly slithered his way under the sheets, making sure to look away for the brief second May's breasts were exposed.

Before the emerald haired man could object, May had already pushed her bare back up against his chest. She grabbed Drew's arms, and wrapped them securely around her own waist.

"May, what are you-"

"I'm cold." May said, cutting Drew's question off. "Goodnight Drewsie."

Drew smiled as he leaned down and kissed the top of May's head gingerly, causing May to instinctively snuggle closer into him. "Good Night May."

Drew savored every moment, knowing perfectly well that come morning, May would forget everything.

- - - - - - - -

May groaned as sunlight shone brightly on her face, penetrating the room through a nearby window. Squeezing her eyes shut even more, she tried to block out the harsh rays. Realizing this only resulted in giving her a worse headache than she already had, she groan once more.

Hearing light snoring coming from directly behind her, May tensed up. She tried to crawl out of bed without waking the unknown person sleeping with her, but their arms around her waist forced her to stay put.

_"Oh my Mew! What the hell happened last night?!" The severely hungover woman thought to herself. As she tried to recall the previous night's event, the person behind her began to stir. Thinking of no other option, May came to one sensible solution._

"AHHHHH!" Drew bolted straight up at the sound of May screaming. Unluckily for him, he lost his balance, resulting in a face plant to the floor. As soon as May heard her mystery person fall off the bed, her screaming stopped. Slowly making her way over to the opposite edge of the mattress, May peered over at the person cursing under their breath.

"Drew?!" May yelled, sitting up straight on the edge. "What the hell were you doing in bed with m-why are you blocking your eyes?" She asked after watching Drew's eyes go wide and covering them quickly.

"Um-ah-y-you might want to um...cover yourself." He answered, his face completely red. Looking down, May screamed once more.

"You sick bastard! What the hell did you do to me you friggin' pervert?!" May yelled, ignoring the pounding in her head. She continued berating Drew on what a sick S.O.B he was, as she searched for a shirt. "And where the hell is my-" May began, only to have a tee shirt shoved in her face by Drew, who still had his eyes closed. "-shirt." She finished.

Ripping the article of clothing out of Drew's hands, May hastily pulled it over her head and down her torso. Once her hands were free, she wound up, letting her hand fly right across Drew's face.

"What the hell was that for?!" Drew shouted, finally uncovering his eyes.

"For doing sick things to me in my sleep!" May yelled, quickly regretting it. "Ow, my friggin' head kills!" She said as she lowered her head, bringing her fingers up to massage her temples. Once she looked back up, Drew was standing in front of her, cup of coffee and advil in hand.

_"Take these." He instructed, passing the objects to May. She greedily excepted, swallowing the pills and finishing up the caffeinated liquid swiftly. "And I _**_didn't_**_ do anything to you while you were asleep...I did them to you when you were awake."_

Drew's smile quickly faded, as he realized May thought he was serious. "I'm kidding!" He said, gaining a sigh of relief from May.

_"Well then why the hell were we _**_both_**_ topless in a bed together?" She asked, anger still present._

_"Put _**_your_**_ clothes back on, and I'll explain when we go to check out." Drew informed. "Unless you'd prefer to throw yourself at me again." He added as he flicked his hair back, something he hadn't done for years._

_"Wha-I-You...Ugh!" May moaned, grabbing _**_her_**_ clothes and stomping angrily into the bathroom._

- - - - - - - -

"...and then you woke up, screamed, and...well you know the rest." Drew ended his story after having finished checking out. May and Drew were standing by the entrance to the Pokemon Center, preparing to part ways once again. Drew couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his face as he watched May's appalled reaction get worse and worse as the story came to an end.

"I-I don't really know what to say..." May confessed, her sentence trailing off at the end.

"If you don't believe me, you can ask the Nurse Joy and she'll-"

"No, no. I-I believe you." May said, interrupting Drew for the second time that morning. "I guess all I can really say is..thank you. If it hadn't been you who found me...I don't even want to think about what could've happened." Tears began to form in May's eyes, making it twice that it had happened in front of Drew.

As if he was programmed to do so, Drew pulled May into his chest for a hug. Her tears immediately stopped once their bodies made contact.

"Drew, what are you doing?" She asked.

"Getting you to stop crying. And it looks like it worked." He responded, pulling her away from him by the shoulders. May giggled, causing Drew to laugh as well.

"Well, I should...you know, probably get going before I embarrass myself anymore." May informed, beginning to turn away. "So, um..yeah. Thanks." She walked out of the Center at a pretty fast pace, her heart beating rapidly from the mixed emotions within her.

"May!" Drew yelled from behind her, causing the girl in question to turn back toward the building. Flicking his hair back with one hand, Drew tossed May a red rose with the other. She caught it easily, but gasped once she took a closer look. This rose was different from the ones he had given her in the past when they were kids. For one thing, their was no way he could say it was for her Pokemon, seeing as they had not been out of their pokeballs in front of him. And secondly, a note was attached to the surprisingly thornless stem.

A bewildered look still plastered on her face, May opened the neatly folded note.

_May/Mary Jane-_

_If you'd like, you're more than welcome to travel with me. I'm sure you need as much protection from the world as M.J does._

_Check yes or no._

_~Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman...and/or Drew_

Below it were two boxes, one marked as yes, the other marked no. Shaking her head as she laughed, May pulled a pen out of her pocket and quickly scribbled on the note. Attaching it back to the rose, she tossed it to an awaiting Drew.

Anxiously, Drew flipped open the piece of paper, but quickly threw it to the ground as he caught a running May in his arms. Swinging her around once, he placed her feet back on the ground. Even though they were out of breathe, Drew pressed his lips onto May's, causing the sweetest sensation to travel down both of the young adult's spines.

After their lips parted, the two coordinator left the Pokemon Center, hand in hand.

- - - - - - - -

Blowing in the breeze, forgotten by the new couple, May and Drew's note quietly landed on top of a nearby puddle. Laying gracefully by it was the rose it had previously been attached to.

"Oooo! A rose! Look Solidad!" A effeminate male's voice said, as the source reached down to pick up the rose and it's accomplice, temporarily letting go of his girlfriend's hand.

Solidad chuckled lightly. "Roses just always remind me of Drew, huh Harley?" When she did not receive any form of response, she turned to face her fellow coordinator. Harley was to engrossed in reading the note, a huge grin on his face.

"Why this is just the sweetest thing I've ever read! I always knew Drewsie and little May made the perfect couple!" Harley squealed.

"What are you talking about? Let me see that." Solidad demanded, swiping the note out of Harley's hands, not bothering to take the rose as well. The note read:

_May/Mary Jane-_

_If you'd like, you're more than welcome to travel with me. I'm sure you need as much protection from the world as M.J does._

_Check yes or no._

_~Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman...and/or Drew_

But under that, was May's reply. Both of the yes and no boxes had been completely scribbled out, and their was a message directly below it.

_You have to be one of the corniest people I have ever met, but I guess that's what I like about you. As long as you're always my Spidey, I'll be your M.J. 3 (Wow I'm surprised I didn't just gag on all that mush :D)_

"Took them long enough!" Solidad exclaimed after finishing reading May's response. As she placed the letter in her pocket to throw away later, she felt two arms wrap around her waist tightly.

"They said the same thing about us hun." Harley replied, kissing Solidad's cheek from behind. The pink haired woman smiled, turning around and kissing her boyfriend on the lips. As they pulled away, Harley took the forgotten rose and placed it behind Solidad's ear.

"Is that for me?" She asked innocently. Harley shook his head, confusing Solidad. He smiled at her and kissed her one more time.

"It's for your Pokemon."

**A/N: THE END I hope the HarleyXSolidad at the end didn't kill anyone. I also hope you got that Harley was mimicking Drew with that last line. Anyways...REVIEW!!!!!**


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